Like She Owns The Place: Unlock the Secret of Last Confidence is Cara Alwill Leyba’s seventh book. In case you aren’t familiar with Cara Alwill Leyba, Cara is a Master Life Coach, Author, Public Speaker and creator of Champagne Diet blog.

 

I think I first came across Cara Alwill Leyba by her book Girl Code. I am not the biggest fan of Girl Code, but I could see how inspiring Cara was to other women so I started following her online and now I very much enjoy listening to her podcast, Style Your Mind.

So when I saw she was writing a new book that was going to be published by one of my favourite publishers Portfolio Books (her books have previously been self-published) I definitely wanted to check it out and the book in question turned out to be Like She Owns The Place: Unlock the Secret of Lasting Confidence.

 

Confidence is such an important issue, especially amongst women and early on in the book, Cara shares that

“No matter the culture or country, man had higher self esteem than women”.

That is such a scary statement and just proves why more needs to be to help women with the confidence and self-esteem.

Cara is very honest about the fact she wasn’t always full of confidence. In fact, her aim for the book is “to lead you on a journey of self-discovery similar to the one I’ve been on for years.” Cara’s whole brand is centred around her being very honest about her journey and this book is no different.

One of the messages that are repeated through the book is that confidence comes from truly learning to love yourself.

 

In Chapter 1: Who Do You Think You Are? Cara writes

“Real confidence comes from loving yourself and all your mistakes and imperfections and still facing the world every day.”

 

and then in Chapter 4: Vulnerability is a Superpower Cara writes

“Real confidence is about being able to see yourself as imperfect and love yourself for it.”

 

Cara does just say, love yourself and disappear. As you would expect from a Master Life Coach, there are tips for how to improve your levels of self-love and throughout the book, there are moments where Cara has asked questions and left space for you to answer the questions right in the book.

 

No female-focused book on confidence could not mention imposter syndrome so it was no surprise in Chapter 5: Self-Love, Self-Sabotage and Feeling Like a Fraud, Cara delves deeper into imposter syndrome. She states that “70 percent of people experience imposter syndrome” and it is more common in women. Cara tries to reassure the reader by saying “Even the most confident women struggle with it, and it doesn’t go away after achieving high levels of success”. There is definitely the feeling that once you have achieved a certain level of success imposter syndrome will disappear, but the fact is many women experience it for their whole life, regardless of success, so you need to learn how to acknowledge imposter syndrome for what it is and not let it rule your life?

When it comes to confidence, a strategy that is often mentioned is ‘fake it till you make it’, but Cara has a different belief. She believes that you should follow the mantra “believe it and then be it”. If you are faking it then it will only be reaffirming your feeling of being a fake. Instead by believe you are the woman you want to be and really trying to get into that mindset you should more natural transition into that woman.

 

One of the final chapters is called Audacious Auditing and this focuses on the people in your life. Cara talks about creating power circles and I absolutely believe in the idea of creating the right circles of people around you. I have felt it by being a member of a Lean In group, and I have seen it from running PropelHer’s Book Club and my own mastermind.

Cara encourages everyone to “Find your tribe. They are out there. You are not stuck with or limited to people around you by default”. She then points everyone to her fabulous Facebook Group, the Slay Baby Collective, which has been designed to be a space for amazing women to connect for support, inspiration and positive vibes.

One of the things that some women struggle with when it comes to auditing their relationships is reducing time with people who they know they shouldn’t be spending time with. However, I loved Cara’s recommendation to deal with that problem. She recommends “The more you fill your life with people who lift you up and energize you, the less space you have for those who drain you.”

Rather than focusing on what you need to remove from your life focus on making every day full with fabulous things and there won’t be time left for the things you feel you need to get rid of anyway.

 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Overall, Like She Owns The Place was an easy read. It is just under 200 pages and is written in an informal tone, which makes it super easy to read and you really feel like Cara is talking directly to you (this probably is more intense for me since I have listened to her voice a lot on her podcast, Style Your Mind).

 

One of the quotes that has really stuck with me is

“Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you”.

 When it comes to confidence, Cara is really trying to get to the root of the problem – loving yourself flaws and all. You need to love yourself wholeheartedly because once you accept yourself for exactly who you are right now (rather than the woman you are trying to be) then you can start showing up with confidence that lasts.

 

As always I found Cara inspiring and going forward I will be trying to live by the mantra,

“Live your life. Make yourself happy”.

 

 

 

 

Like the sound of Like She Owns The Place? Why not buy a copy for yourself?

Prefer to listen to read? Well fortunately for you Like She Owns The Place is also available on audible and is read by Cara herself.

And you can get a free audible trial by clicking here.